Stop and Smell the Roses

(I took a public speaking class in college and always regretted not having given my persuasive speech on this topic. Decided it wasn't too late.)  :)

“Stop and smell the roses” has always been one of my favorite sayings. As a child, I took the advice quite literally, and there are dozens of photographs of little me to prove it. Of course, this gem of wisdom goes well beyond flowers. To stop, to slow down, to smell, appreciate, and more fully experience our world suggests, nothing short of, an entirely new way of living. But how do you say, “slow down,” let only live the idea, in our culture of capitalism? -In a culture that, above all else, values efficiency and success, albeit a rather narrow definition of the word. To quote Adam Smith's 1776, The Wealth of Nations, in a free-market economy, “every individual necessarily labors to render the annual revenue of society as great as he can.” In other words, to increase the Gross National Product.

In this regard, at least, I think we have succeeded. Consider the floating island of waste in the North Pacific. Consider that in most households both adults work long hours week after week after week, and, if lucky, will receive two or three weeks paid vacation each year. Consider that we have increased our daily intake by at least 300 calories per day since 1985; consider that, for the sake of efficiency, we now ingest a reported fifth of these daily calories in the car. Consider the national rates of heart disease and obesity; our population simply can't increase our demand for food as quickly as the food industry can produce more of it. (In the spirit of increasing revenue, however, the industry has largely overcome this hurdle with marketing campaigns such as “supersizing” and other insidious changes to our way of eating -the full effects of which still remain largely undetermined.)

In a culture driven by producing and consuming ever-more stuff, “slowing down” may not be as simple as it sounds. It may not even be a solution. But maybe, just maybe, it is. “Slow Food” is the name of a movement that began in Italy in the 1980s to combat our increasingly fast-paced way of life. They emphasize savoring good food, eaten in good company. Their messages is that a slower, more thoughtful, more appreciative way of eating and living would not only improve our health, but have other cultural benefits as well.

Considers this example. What might the effects be if we reinstated the seemingly fundamental -but ever diminishing- family meal. To paraphrase some of Micheal Pollan's ideas from his book, In Defense of Food, children might learn more patience if they had to wait between meals rather than popping a frozen entree into the microwave at the first twinges of hunger. They might learn to control their portion sizes. And wouldn't children and adults alike appreciate and, therefore, waste less food if they had taken some part in the preparation or clean-up of the meal? What's more, children might learn social skills such as table manners and polite conversation -not to mention an overall deepening of family relationships- if we just took the time to sit down together and eat.

But that's just it, isn't it? We simply don't have the time. Or do we? In less than two decades, the average American has somehow found the time to add 1-2 hours spent on the internet every day. Clearly, there is a balance of priorities involved as well. Aside from eating well and eating together, what else do we no longer have the time for? Walking to school or work -or walking anywhere, for that matter. Stopping to chat. With the advent of the self-check-out line, we can now complete an entire shopping experience without ever having to stop and interact with anyone.

Perhaps most distressing of all, we don't have time for solitude and for meditation. Even in our moments of alone time, is there any room for deep contemplation -for introspection- given the near-constant buzzing from phone calls, texts, emails and face-book notifications coming from the mobile device in our pocket? Can we even call it “alone time” anymore? To paraphrase from an article by Stephan Marchie titled “Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?” the author concludes that one of the most interesting phenomenons of social media isn’t that is is making us more lonely, but rather, that it is changing the very nature of solitude itself. Whereas these moments may have once been spent marveling at nature or searching our souls, they are now increasingly spent contemplating our next status update or wondering what vacation pictures we should post online; In other words, we are spending a lot more time thinking about the digital version of ourselves that we wish to present, rather than thinking about the version of ourselves that we actually are.

I am not suggesting that we throw away our mobile devices and head for the hills to “find ourselves.” What I am suggesting, though, is that we see more, notice more, and appreciate more in our day-to-day living. I'm convinced that doing so will improve our physical health as well as our internal sense of identity, awareness, and well-being. What is the power of noticing? Well, Barbara Ann Kipfer's, 14,000 Things to be Happy About gives us some idea. Kipfer didn't start out meaning to write this book. She simply noticed, enjoyed, and recorded the “little things” in life -, flannel sheets, ice cream sandwiches, sun burning off the morning fog. She often jotted down her observations on receipts, napkins, or whatever piece of scrap-paper happened to be available at the time. And yet, her impressive compilation of “happy thoughts” has become beloved by thousands of Americans -it's message of “enjoying the little things” incorporated into various mental-health therapeutic approaches.

On a more personal note, in college, I was able to room with one of my best friends who was then -and is now- an inspiration to me on this topic. Every night, no matter how tired, now matter how late the hour, she would write down five “things to be happy about” from that day. Given her depression and struggle with other health problems, this wasn't always such an easy a task. And yet, she persevered. Years of experience with medications, physicians, counselors and various treatments, and she had come to the conclusion that this one simple exercise was perhaps the most powerful treatment of them all.

So try noticing life. Slow down. Make time for the important things. Take time for the little things. Stop. Smell. Enjoy life's roses.